Already got asked if we're dating
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
