You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
