i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She needs sedatives and a leash
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
