this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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