You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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