as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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