If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
