Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Why is your signature on my underwear?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize