He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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