My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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