Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
