Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize