seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
