i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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