i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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