i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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