Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
