So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
