made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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