Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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