So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
