She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
