So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
