it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
