One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
