I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
