so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
