after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
