Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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