no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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