If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i think i just naturally attract stoners
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
