You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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