My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
