She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
