i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
