Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
