Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
