Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this beer tastes like vomit already
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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