Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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