Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
