i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
PANTIES FOUND
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize