Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
