those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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