Only a mothe r could love this liver
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
