just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
