you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
