At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize