Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
