I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
