dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
