Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
What a dumb baby whore.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
