haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
