the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
