so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
