okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
