you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he just fucked me for my cheese..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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