Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
