Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
