Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
