did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
