Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize