she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
