Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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