the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
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