Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
